My earliest inkling that I was a submissive came at a very young age. I was 6 or 7 years old and I had a crush on a girl that was 4 years older than I. I can remember part of a dream I had, most of which is lost to me now, but the important part, that inkling that I was a submissive came in that dream where I was captured by this girl whom I had a crush on and she put me in manacles and I can remember feeling excited about it.
As an adolescent I can remember having crushes on girls and I would always imagine myself in a submissive role with them. I remember the tv show Xena: Warrior Princess where Xena had a nemesis by the name of Callisto and I can remember fantasizing about being her slave boy in that sexy leather costume she wore. Mmmmmmm yes! Hehe.
By the time I reached the age of 18, I was ready to really delve into this world of BDSM and into my submission in particular. I got onto an adult personals site called Alt.com which I think is still around today. Anyways, I got my profile up and started to chat with people on the site in the chat rooms. I got to learn a few things from some of them in regards to the basic fundamentals like kneeling and how to address a Dominant, things like that. I got contacted by one of the Dommes in my area. We’ll call her Mistress B.
I was really excited about this and I got to messaging with her back and forth on the site and then we set up a phone conference where I got to speak with her and her partner Domme whom we’ll call Lady P. They were Pro-Dommes and I did not know what that meant so they explained it to me. The three of us agreed to meet in person at one of the local BDSM Fetish events here in my area.
I was really excited and terrified at the same time. I had to go out to a boutique and pick up some fetish wear to wear for this social event. I was really nervous about going into this boutique but I went and the staff was very friendly and helpful. They did their best to ease my nervousness and I wound up picking some tear away leather shorts and a leather t-shirt kind of thing.
Now I had to keep it out of sight from my parents and family because I did not know how to approach that topic with them and to this day they still don’t know LOL. Maybe we can discuss that later and you guys can give me advice on how to breach that subject with family members 🙂
The day came of the event and I told my parents I was going over to a friends house and that I would be late coming home LOL. In retrospect that was a dangerous and bad thing to do but it all worked out and it was a very public event with lots of people. I got to meet Mistress B and Lady P. Both of them were very nice ladies and we go to talking about what sort of things I might be interested in trying. I still had no clue LOL. They asked me which of them I would like to see for my first session and I decided to see Lady P. We parted for the evening and made arrangements to have another conference call the next day, which we did and we set up and day and time for me to go over to Mistress B’s house for my very first session.
Well the day came for my first session and now I was going over to this person’s house after only meeting them once. Again I told my parents that I was over to a friends place. This time could have been really bad in hindsight. I got lucky as I was not playing this so smart. I was excited, eager, and terrified all at the same time, but still very much a teenager mentally.
So I went over for my session and they were really nice again and Lady P led me down into the basement where Mistress B kept her dungeon. I was super excited and Lady P was really good about taking things slow with me. She showed me around the dungeon and showed me the various toys and restraints and explained what they were all for and then we got started.
I found myself bound spread eagle on a bondage frame wearing leather cuffs on my wrists and ankles. I was naked which was a first for me being naked in front of a woman. Lady P started to use her flogger on me. She started slow and then gradually was striking me harder and faster and it was all so overwhelming and I wound up fainting.
Lady P and Mistress B took care of me though. They were both really concerned about me and took really good care of me. I knew then I would be in good hands. 🙂
We finished up with my first session and I paid Lady P for her services which felt awkward to me cause all I could think of was that I was paying a prostitute which was not the case at all. And that relationship went on like that over the next 2 years and I would see Lady P once a month.